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This is a similar deal to something Big Bear Butt wrote about a while back, with a slightly more personal twist. It's partially because of our meteoric pace that people don't have all the stuff they need outside of raiding, but it's also just common sense stuff.
If you aren't willing to enchant your gear with at least something, you are wasting my time. The quality raiders get new pieces of gear and immediately go out and get their enchants, gems and are prepared. They know ahead of time what drops from what boss, whether they want it, whether they're willing to poke on it, and what they'll need to have in terms of reagents if they need to enchant it. They know what gems are optimal for their spec. They know what their magic numbers are for hit, spell hit, damage, crit, haste. They know whether it's worth it to break a set bonus or not. And if you don't know this stuff? You are wasting my time. You are wasting my time because you aren't bothering to get better. You're taking 5 extra minutes to think about whether something is better for you or not and wasting 5 minutes of raid time to do so. That's two hours worth of people's time, right there, because of your selfish ass. Or you're getting gear that other people could use more effectively than you because you have no clue whether something's good for you or not, which means we will not do as well in the future.
If you're willing to roll on a piece of loot - especially T6 loot - you must be willing to spend the money and time to get it improved as best it can. If you're not doing that, you are not worth giving the item to over anyone else. If that means you have to grind rep with a faction, tough. Everyone else has done this. If that means you need to farm or do dailies for money, tough. Everyone else does this too. These are excuses, and if you're making excuses for this behavior, you are wasting my time. You are wasting the time of every raider there who actually cares.
So if you don't have the rep for a head or a shoulder enchant for your class: you shouldn't roll on that piece of gear. It is effectively off-spec for you. And you shouldn't whine about it either. If you haven't gotten a head enchant after 2 months of getting a piece of gear, you have no basis to complain about anything.
If you don't know what to do in a fight, at least on some level: you are wasting my time. Yes, everyone is going to make mistakes now and then, especially on new content. Even the best raiders will. And sometimes those mistakes will wipe the raid. But if you consistently make the same mistake over and over, you are not worth bringing. If you consistently make the same mistake and cause the raid to wipe, you are definitely not worth bringing. If you have to ask questions about the fight that are based on the strategy that has been posted, that are clearly spelled out in the strategies and the information: you are wasting the raid's time again. If you are told that a fight is about surviving and you consistently do things that cause yourself damage...why should you come?
The fact is, there are a number of people out there who are willing to put in the time to learn this stuff. They know their class. They know their spec. They know their gear and what they're going to get next from badges, drops, and what exactly their enchants and gems are that they need. They know each boss fight coming up and what is expected of their class, even if they've not done it. They know how to play their class and how to do the best for that class. And they are begging for a shot to show the raid that they can do this. BEGGING.
I want a lot of friends in raids. I do. I want to joke, I want to have fun. I play this game not for the accomplishment or the loot, but because I like hanging out with people and socializing in some way while doing something entertaining with my wife. But I am really getting tired of people who are there to just waste my time, friends or no. I don't expect everyone to do the same amount of work I do to know their stuff; I find it fun to do the research and play with optimizing things, but I'm sure a lot of people hate that. I do expect them to do some small degree of work though. If they don't want to do the research, I expect them to find someone who has and ask their opinion.
So figure it out for yourself: am I wasting the raid's time? Am I wasting my friend's time? What can I do to get better? What can I do to make the raid better?