Know this, DPSers: I care only for completing the first daily random quest. That's it. I have almost 300 emblems of triumph, and I have nothing I want to buy with them. I don't care about chain running this for emblems. I only care about those two emblems of frost. To get those, I want to spend about 30 minutes of time in almost perfect silence methodically killing everything that comes our way. If the healer's comfortable, I'll do it in my DPS gear so it goes faster yet.
And anything that impedes this will be kicked. Some notables:
- I don't have patience for DPS that want to go at a different pace than I'm comfortable with. My goal in doing these LFG runs is to make sure that we finish the end boss reasonably quickly without wiping, because I get to do these once a day and that's it. I have about 30 minutes to do that. If you choose to be cute and pull another group and think you're being helpful and you're not a member of my guild, you can honestly go find another tank who will put up with your shenanigans. Enjoy your 15-25 minutes of finding another group.
- I don't honestly care if you're not doing good DPS as long as you don't wipe the raid because you're doing something wrong. I don't really care what your gear is; the only 5-man that your gear might matter on is Halls of Reflection, and there I generally care more about the healer's gear than yours. I'm happy to drag you around with your sub 1k DPS and get you emblems as long as you don't impede me. Because I outgear the stuff we're doing by 4 tiers of content. This stuff is easy. Most of the time this stuff doesn't require a healer if I'm tanking. And that's not egotistical; I'm not some stellar tank. I'm just a stellar-geared tank and can get away with that.
- I don't have patience with loot whores either, but I also don't care that much. There's literally nothing that could drop from these 5-mans that I'd be interested in save the hilt, and I'd only be interested in that so I could sell it. If you roll need on every single item, fine. As long as you keep up and suck only a little bit, that's good. I'd prefer you roll greed so I can DE anything and everything.
- I don't really care if whatever idiotic thing you as a DPS did was successful; if it made me annoyed or mad or wiped us or even threatened to wipe us, I'll vote to kick you. I recognize that it's much harder to find a good tank than a good DPS, and I can find a group instantly; you can take 20 minutes of your time to do the same. Yes, this is unfair. Yes, this means I have more power than I reasonably should. I'll happily abuse that power for my own selfish desires (a fast, efficient run) and if you don't like it, find another group...in 20 minutes.
- I don't really care about doing optional bosses or not, as long as it doesn't take longer than 30 minutes for everything.
- I'm not interested in exploiting a bug to make an encounter easier. It's already pretty easy. If you are, good luck finding that group.
- If you're the DPS and you're worried that my health is too low because it's only 32k in my DPS gear, you can and will be kicked. The only person that should be concerned is the healer, and I've already checked with them to make sure it's cool. Complain about this at your own peril.
- I think you're a piece of shit if you bail on Oculus, CoS, or HoR. Especially Oculus, which is one of the fastest dungeons out there if you know at all what you're doing. But hey, chances are you sucked if you leave anyway, and it's not my 15 minutes of time you're wasting.
- If you die, it's your fault. It's not mine, and it's not the healer's. It's yours. Even when it isn't.
- I don't have patience for people who won't ask questions on how to do things if they don't know. If they do, I'll happily explain or point them to someone who can, as many readers who have rolled an alt on my server to talk to me can attest to. If they don't and then complain if I give them hints or tell them what to do, that's on them, not on me. Especially if you're a feral and doing it wrong.
- If you're not familiar with Oculus, here are two things you can do: pick a bronze drake and always follow me. On that bronze drake, simply shoot the boss until he goes unhittable, then follow me some more. That's it.
- No, I'm not interested in doing some random achievement unless it is really, really easy (like herald Volajz) or something we'd want to do anyway. I don't really want to do 5 bronze drakes on Oculus on a pug. I really don't want to do 100 zombies. I really don't want to not DPS down portals on Nexus. Just collect your purples and move on.
- I am willing to allow you to complete your quests for random heroics as long as you do it in a timely fashion and don't care that we're pulling mobs while you get your silver bars or troll sweat or free slaves or whatever.
- Anything racist will get you kicked.
- Anything sexist will get you kicked.
- Most homophobic stuff will get you kicked. Note that I really don't like the 'that's so gay' phrase, but I recognize that I won't be able to convince everyone about the evils of it so I tend to grin and bear it as part of the stupid stuff people say nowadays. I just tell them to get off my lawn and deal with it.
- And finally - it is not fun time happy stuff to pull a boss while I'm tanking a trash mob, then come running to me and expect me to tank it. Yes, I'm aware that I probably can survive 8 mobs and a boss at once without too much difficulty. You're still not the one who should be pulling.
Now - if you are a good, obedient, and nice DPS who isn't idiotic, you'll get a tank who has 245+ gear in most every slot, is gemmed/enchanted properly, can have 55k health whenever they need to and has done every single heroic multiple times as every single position. And that tank enjoys chain pulling and if a healer needs mana, would rather innervate them and move on. Your run should take no more than half an hour (even the loltastic ones like CoS or Oculus) and I'll happily trade gear you want and I've won back to you if you think you'd like it for some reason.
I do all of these things because I can. Because right now, I have the power. I'm sure in the future I'll be put in my place and be begging for good DPS/interrupters/AoEers to join me, and the joke will be on me, mwahaha.
But for now, it's abuse of power time.